I was on edge, literally and figuratively. My mind was racing, my heart was broken and my soul was longing for leaving. The rain was pouring down and I was surrounded by darkness, with flashes of lightning occasionally lighting the sky followed by the applause of thunder. I had resigned myself to death and was set to jump off the overpass onto the train tracks below.
Just then, the rain stopped and I heard a car door slam shut. I turned to look and found a man in a raincoat getting out of his car. A woman was in the passenger seat on her cell phone, looking on with a concerned look on her face. The man cautious approached and finally spoke up.
"Hey what you doing out here?! It's been pouring down for hours now!".
I turned away from him and tried to gather myself with little success. I wiped my face of water and turned in reply.
"I'm trying to kill myself do you mind?! It's kind of a private moment!"
He relaxed himself and more casually approached but made sure to keep a safe distance. He leaned against the wall I was standing on about 10 feet away. All he said was "OK " crossed his arms and diverted his attention away from me, appearing disinterested.
Now I was confused. Every moment like this I had seen in the movies never played out like this. It always has some hero talking the jumper down or preventing them from killing themselves through more forceful means. This guy was just chilling there... What was his angle? I decided to ask him.
"Aren't you going to stop me?" I asked.
He replied "Nope. You seem like you know what you're doing. Figured I'd stay here and wait for you to do it, then I would tell the EMTs what happened when they got here."
Now I was really confused. But relatively calm... and woozy. That bottle of seizure meds must have been kicking in. I looked away and thought for a moment, looking down at the tracks wondering if this was worth it.
Finally I said with a tone of aggravated surrender, "Get me down from here."
The man sprang into action and helped me down. "Whew. You had me going for a second there. I really thought you were going to jump." I told him it wasn't over yet as I had already downed a bottle of medication. He waved the woman over. She came out and handed him the phone. He stepped away and I just cried and cried into her shoulder. She didn't say a word, she just held me as I soaked her blouse with tears and the rainwater that continued to drop off me.
The paramedics arrived quickly. They took my vitals, gave me some oxygen and transported me to the hospital. I had my stomach pumped. If you have never had that experience, I don't recommend it. Afterwards I had a long chat with a counselor with an officer in the room. It was decided that I should spend at least a few days in a suicide watch facility, and about an hour later I was on my way.
When I arrived at the facility, the sun was just starting to come up. The air was fresh and crisp. And I smelled like a wet dog. I went through the intake process, had some breakfast, took a shower and laid down for a few hours before I had to begin the road to recovery.
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